Beating the Holiday Blues in the COVID19 Pandemic

The holiday season is around the corner.  It is a special time of the year for most people. However, it is not necessarily one in which most people feel happy as it is to be expected.  In fact, the holiday season in the northern hemisphere is rife with depression and melancholy.  So, instead of people feeling better as a result of the “spirit of the holidays,” people feel emotionally worse.  During this holiday season they feel more depressed and lonelier than ever.

What is behind the holiday blues?

So, this paradoxical phenomenon begs the question:  Why is this the case? Why do people feel more depressed–and even suicidal–this time of the year? Why do they feel worse when they would be supposed to feel happier and more connected to others than ever?

Well, there is no simple answer to this question.  But in this post, I will attempt to explain some of the factors involved in the production of the “holiday blues.” I will then offer advice to decrease the melancholy feelings in this season. 

This “holidays blues” is a psycho-social phenomenon that takes place every year here in the United States. But this year this problem has been aggravated by the restrictions created by the COVID19 pandemic.

Holiday Blues and COVID19 pandemic

The third wave of infections by COVID has caused many states to go back to lockdown. This has forced the CDC (The US Center for Disease Control) to recommend Americans to avoid travelling for the Thanksgiving celebration. The situation of this pandemic is so bad now that they have even recommended to avoid family gatherings altogether.  So, the US public health authorities recommendation at this point is that people should stay put and celebrate with those in their own households.

This reality–and the fact that as many as many as 37.5 million adults live alone in the US in 2020 (which represents and increase of 23 % compared to 1980) –makes social isolation much more acute in this country.

Social isolation is associated with loneliness. Loneliness, in turn, predisposes people to depression and suicidality.  So, those of us who work in the mental health field, see a significant increase in depression at this time of the year. This uptick in depression is oftentimes accompanied by suicidal ideation that worsens during the holiday season every year.  

But, 2020 is much worse than any prior year as even those that do not live alone may not be able to get together with their loved ones this holiday season. This unprecedented reality affects the young who live alone and the adults that cannot get together with their elderly parents for fear of putting them at risk of COVID19 infection. So, the young on one hand, and the old, on the other, are the age groups most exposed to social isolation.

So, what are the factors that give us the “holiday blues.”?

1-The expectation that these are times to be “happy” play a big role in the origin of the holidays depressive feelings. This is so because high expectations produce high levels of disappointment, which is the opposite effect intended by the holidays.

Most people believe that this time of the year “others are happy;” others have family and loved ones around; others are getting together; and they are the only ones alone and unloved. This image of blissful “togetherness” during the holidays in the US is perpetuated by innumerable movies on the same theme that romanticizes the holiday season.

2-Expecting to feel great and to be able to consume, to give gift away–or to get together with many people and not being able to do so–is depressing for most people.

3-In the US, the “consumerist element” has done away with the true spirit of the holidays.

• “Thanksgiving” is just a day to be thankful for all you are and all you have got.
• “Christmas” is the celebration of Jesus’s birthday for those that believe in him.  
• And “Hanukah,” (the celebration of lights), is the commemoration of the dedication of the second Jewish temple for those of the Jewish faith.
• That is it. Everything else is consumerist and commercial addons to the so called “season.”

4-Feeling separated or isolated from others is one of the most painful things a human being may experience. By nature, we are social creatures and we suffer is forcefully isolated. And the new reality of the post-modern world in the developed West has created alienating social situations in which massive numbers of people live alone. 

In today’s America, many people live alone and feel disconnected from others. So, people living in these circumstances feel that “nobody cares for them.” They often complain that “the world is unfair to them” and that “nobody loves them.” And these are strong psychological factors causing them to emotionally react with the “holiday blues.”

5-The fact that the holidays are considered “special days” gets us both ways, coming and going, so to speak. This is so as people tend to compare the present holidays with those of their past. If they were happy–and full of loved ones that are no longer there–they get depressed. This happens because the present version cannot compare to “the good old times.” The holidays in those cases evoke the absence of their loved ones and they cause a grief reaction.

 If, on the contrary, they had terrible holidays in their past, then they have “anniversary reactions” of traumatic experiences during the holidays.  For this reason, these traumatized people often hate the holiday season.  They react to the holidays in the spirit of “the Grinch.” But either way, we seem to not be able to win with the holidays as long as we stay attached to our memories of the past.  This is the case because, if the past was better, we suffer because the present does not match up. If the past was painful, we use it to make your holidays “a trauma anniversary” rather than a present time celebration.

The Effect of Weather on the Holiday Blues

Finally, the holidays in the northern hemisphere coincide with the fall and winter. In high latitudes this means colder weather–darkness, shorter days, cloudiness–and rain or snow.  All of these climate factors affect us all contributing to a decrease in energy and an increase in our depressive feelings.

The fact that we spend much more time indoors–and that we cannot do our outdoors activities in many parts of this country–increase “Cabin Fever.” These claustrophobic feelings are now exacerbated further by the stay-at-home orders instituted by the states.  The contribution of inclement weather and darkness to our “holiday blues” is poignantly felt here in the state of Washington. This is so, because shorter days and the long hours of darkness are accompanied by wet, rainy, overcast weather, for weeks on end.

How to cope with the Holiday Blues then?

1-Keep in mind that “the holidays” are just a cultural invention.  They are just days like Any other.  If you are a Christian, then these two days are religious celebrations. If you are not, they are just culturally-accepted American celebrations. 

These celebrations are a way of dampening the effects on our moods of the darkness of the fall and winter. We do this by decking our homes and streets with lights, trees–and by getting together.  Remember that these solstice celebrations were part of pagan cultures for millennia. Back then, they were separate from any religious meaning before they were integrated into the Judeo-Christian calendar of our culture.

2-So, do not fall into the trap of overvaluing the holidays.

• Avoid going crazy trying to have the “perfect celebration.”
• Do not go overboard spending money you do not have on gifts.  
• Do not kill yourself to please others (particularly those of your family). 
• Avoid large gatherings this year to prevent COVID19 infection
• And lower your expectations of what the holidays are “supposed to be” and what you think you “should feel” during this time of the year.

3-If you live alone, and feel very alone, REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are millions in your situation out there right now.  Even more so this year of COVID19 pandemic in which we have to avoid getting together if we want to decrease the numbers of infected people and deaths.

4-If you are alone–or celebrating with your nuclear household–on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and/or Hanukah, cook yourself a nice meal. Get your smart phone, tablet, or computer ready on your dinner table to call someone and share your holidays virtually. Be thankful that you have food on your table and that you are not in a hospital dying from COVID19.

5-If you live in high latitudes or dark places get a “Happy Light” (an antidepressant lightbox). They are inexpensive and you can order them online. Get a portable one with a power of at least 10 thousand luxes.  You need to use it about 60 minutes or more a day in the morning to get the desired effect.  (I will be giving details about light therapy in my next post). And try to keep your room temperature a couple of degrees above the usual.  Light, warmth, and company (real or virtual), decrease depressive feelings.

6-Finally, if you feel very alone, look for someone who is alone too and let him/her know that he/she is not. Think of others this holiday season, not just about yourself. This is the best thing you can do to sooth your own lonely feelings; and this is the best action you can take to really be “in the Spirit of the season.“

If you liked or benefited from the content of this post, let others know by giving it a “Like it.” Feel free to ask a question or leave a comment below. If you are interested in mental health matters, sign up to this blog free of charge. Enter your email address below after pressing “like it.” I hope to see you in my next post. Till then, stay safe and sound,

And have a peaceful holiday season,

Love and Good Wishes

Dr. T